So many times we ask the question, "Why?" Why did I end up here? Why did I lose that job? Why did my friend walk away? Why did my boyfriend leave me? Why did I fail that test? Why did she die? Why do I obsess over stupid things that really don't mater? Why do I have this disability? The "why" questions can be endless. And if we aren't careful, we can drive ourselves completely crazy with the limitlessness of the word "why".
Today I sit contemplating my own "why" questions. Why this? Why that? Why not? Why? Why? Why? And I realize I'm sounding a bit like a baby. Furthermore, I'm looking into the past - the past that I can do nothing about. It is over and done with. It cannot be changed. It cannot be removed. It is what it is.
I've recently started dating someone that has made me think about this quite a bit. He lives fully in the present. And for a planner like myself, it has rocked my boat. It has made me feel completely uncomfortable. It has, more than once, made me want to walk away. But something keeps drawing me closer to this crazy way of thinking (HA - don't tell him I said that). There is something to this living in the present.
Of course there is a balance, but the Lord reminds me of these verses:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
We have today. Each day I wake up - that one moment - is all I am promised. I don't know if the rest of the day will be seen. I don't know if that evening I will lay my head on my pillow. But what I do know is that each moment is for God. Each moment is for His glory. And if I get so wrapped up in my past or my future, I will not be able to see what it is He has for me today.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
What Do You Want To Be?
What is it that you want to be? A good wife? A good husband? A good employee? How about a good christian even? It seems as if more and more we are trying to be better at so many different things. Every time you turn around there is some new self help book out. Or a 10 step program to getting your life in order.
But today I was reminded of a song that simplified it all. At the end of the day isn't it best to desire to be a child of God? We make it so hard. We confuse His love with earthly love. Often times we believe we can do this or that and be satisfied. We can earn the peace He gives and work for the love that He showers, but we are often left empty. Mainly because its a matter of acceptance on our part. Its a matter of simply accepting our role - a child of God. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. There is no amount of service that will make Him proud. It's the surrender to Him that excites Him.
A Child of God
With every breath with every salt
From what it seem to the deepest part
I offer all that I've come to be
To know your love fathering me
Father you're all I need
My souls sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
You arms enfold me
Till I am only
A child of God
With every step on this journey's walk
And wisdom songs
But the soul is sad
I give my self unreservedly
To know your love fathering
Father you're all I need
My souls sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
You arms enfold me till I am only
A child of God
So today, Lord help me to surrender to You. I want to first and foremost be a Child of God.
But today I was reminded of a song that simplified it all. At the end of the day isn't it best to desire to be a child of God? We make it so hard. We confuse His love with earthly love. Often times we believe we can do this or that and be satisfied. We can earn the peace He gives and work for the love that He showers, but we are often left empty. Mainly because its a matter of acceptance on our part. Its a matter of simply accepting our role - a child of God. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. There is no amount of service that will make Him proud. It's the surrender to Him that excites Him.
A Child of God
With every breath with every salt
From what it seem to the deepest part
I offer all that I've come to be
To know your love fathering me
Father you're all I need
My souls sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
You arms enfold me
Till I am only
A child of God
With every step on this journey's walk
And wisdom songs
But the soul is sad
I give my self unreservedly
To know your love fathering
Father you're all I need
My souls sufficiency
My strength when I am weak
The love that carries me
You arms enfold me till I am only
A child of God
So today, Lord help me to surrender to You. I want to first and foremost be a Child of God.
Friday, January 21, 2011
He Longs For Me
"Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him. O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem, you will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you." Isaiah 30:18-19 (underlining mine)
Currently I'm involved in Priscilla Shirer's bible study, Jonah, Navigating a Life Interrupted. Though we are only on week three, God has convicted me, blessed me, and encouraged me. Like Jonah, I have, more than once, ran away from what God has called me to do. I have justified my jog (yeah, I'm not much of a runner) in the other direction. I have blamed others for getting me off track. And I too have tried to get on a boat and sail far, far away from everything dear to me, including the presence of my Lord.
But my Lord longs for me (and you).
Do you grasp the magnitude of that? Do I need to say it again? The Lord longs for you. I'm reminded of a poem I read in high school that has not, and will not leave me. It is by far one of my favorites. And to me, this is what love feels like
This Want of You
This want of you is like no other thing;
It smites my soul with sudden sickening;
It binds my being with a wreath of rue - -
This want of you.
It flashes on me with the waking sun;
It creeps upon me when the day is done;
It hammers at my heart the long night thru - -
This want of you.
It sighs within me with the misting skies;
Oh, all the day within my heart it cries;
Old as your absence, yet each moment new - -
This want of you.
Mad with demand and aching with despair,
It leaps within my heart and you are - where?
God has forgotten, or he never knew -
This want of you.
- Ivan Leonard Wright
And if that is how I feel love as a mere human - do I dare imagine how God's longing for us may be? Can you comprehend it? Can your wrap your mind around it? Do you accept that He longs to be gracious to you? Do you accept that He desires to be compassionate to you? Or do you, like so many (including myself), wonder if God looks on you with disdain, shaking His head, wondering why it is He created you? You wonder if maybe you should give up because - quite frankly - you are just too far gone?
My friend, wrap yourself up in this verse. Get it deep down in your heart. Allow the Holy Spirit to give you a supernatural revelation of what God is trying to say to us through this verse. He is not like us. He does not want to punish us. He does not want to give us "what for". He does not want to say "I told you so." He does not want to rub your nose in your mistakes. Instead, He longs to be gracious to us.
My friend Webster defines long as: to feel a strong desire or craving especially for something not likely to be attained.
(Take my breath away.)
Are you listening my friend? Are you getting this? He knows there will be times when you will turn your face away from Him, but that does NOT keep Him from desiring you and looking for every opportunity to be gracious to you. And it does not keep Him from trying. That would go against His very nature!
So - now the question is: Are you running? Has He asked you to do something that you quite honestly do not want to do? You are not alone my friend. BUT! Knowing what you now know - how can you keep running? How can you simply turn your face away from His grace? I know that what He has called you to do is not easy. I know that it requires sacrifice. I know that you will stand before Him broken. I know, because - I too am there. But surrender yourself to Him today.
He has chosen you for this task because you were perfectly made to accomplish it. He can do it alone. He doesn't need your help. But He chooses to use you as His vessel. Allow Him to mold you into the man or woman of God to fulfill His plan.
He is The Master of taking what is broken and producing a Masterpiece. Will you allow Him to do that today?
Currently I'm involved in Priscilla Shirer's bible study, Jonah, Navigating a Life Interrupted. Though we are only on week three, God has convicted me, blessed me, and encouraged me. Like Jonah, I have, more than once, ran away from what God has called me to do. I have justified my jog (yeah, I'm not much of a runner) in the other direction. I have blamed others for getting me off track. And I too have tried to get on a boat and sail far, far away from everything dear to me, including the presence of my Lord.
But my Lord longs for me (and you).
Do you grasp the magnitude of that? Do I need to say it again? The Lord longs for you. I'm reminded of a poem I read in high school that has not, and will not leave me. It is by far one of my favorites. And to me, this is what love feels like
This Want of You
This want of you is like no other thing;
It smites my soul with sudden sickening;
It binds my being with a wreath of rue - -
This want of you.
It flashes on me with the waking sun;
It creeps upon me when the day is done;
It hammers at my heart the long night thru - -
This want of you.
It sighs within me with the misting skies;
Oh, all the day within my heart it cries;
Old as your absence, yet each moment new - -
This want of you.
Mad with demand and aching with despair,
It leaps within my heart and you are - where?
God has forgotten, or he never knew -
This want of you.
- Ivan Leonard Wright
And if that is how I feel love as a mere human - do I dare imagine how God's longing for us may be? Can you comprehend it? Can your wrap your mind around it? Do you accept that He longs to be gracious to you? Do you accept that He desires to be compassionate to you? Or do you, like so many (including myself), wonder if God looks on you with disdain, shaking His head, wondering why it is He created you? You wonder if maybe you should give up because - quite frankly - you are just too far gone?
My friend, wrap yourself up in this verse. Get it deep down in your heart. Allow the Holy Spirit to give you a supernatural revelation of what God is trying to say to us through this verse. He is not like us. He does not want to punish us. He does not want to give us "what for". He does not want to say "I told you so." He does not want to rub your nose in your mistakes. Instead, He longs to be gracious to us.
My friend Webster defines long as: to feel a strong desire or craving especially for something not likely to be attained.
(Take my breath away.)
Are you listening my friend? Are you getting this? He knows there will be times when you will turn your face away from Him, but that does NOT keep Him from desiring you and looking for every opportunity to be gracious to you. And it does not keep Him from trying. That would go against His very nature!
So - now the question is: Are you running? Has He asked you to do something that you quite honestly do not want to do? You are not alone my friend. BUT! Knowing what you now know - how can you keep running? How can you simply turn your face away from His grace? I know that what He has called you to do is not easy. I know that it requires sacrifice. I know that you will stand before Him broken. I know, because - I too am there. But surrender yourself to Him today.
He has chosen you for this task because you were perfectly made to accomplish it. He can do it alone. He doesn't need your help. But He chooses to use you as His vessel. Allow Him to mold you into the man or woman of God to fulfill His plan.
He is The Master of taking what is broken and producing a Masterpiece. Will you allow Him to do that today?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Godly Correction
Today I got a spanking from God. Yep, at 31 years old I'm still getting spanked by my Father. You know how your parents tell you something, you take it to heart, and then, and then, and then you just - forget it? Forget it was ever spoken. Forget it ever gripped your thoughts, not to mention your heart. And forget to actually do what it was they told you to do. Yeah. That's me in a nutshell. I forgot, didn't walk it out, and today I got reminded by a big spanking. And it hurt. Brought me to tears. Humbled me. Brought me to more tears. But He gripped my heart again. He has a way of always bringing us back to what He has planned for us as along as we allow Him to.
I don't know what you're facing today. I don't know if there is something you've decided to forget for comforts sake, like I did. I don't know if the fear of the unknown has caused you to close an ear to what the Father said. But if it has, please friend, open that ear back up. Don't make Him spank you like He spanked me today. ITS NO FUN - TRUST ME! Take Him at His Word. Trust Him enough to walk with you through whatever He has called you to do. Open your ears to His Words. They bring life, joy, comfort and peace. Commit yourself back to Him today.
I don't know what you're facing today. I don't know if there is something you've decided to forget for comforts sake, like I did. I don't know if the fear of the unknown has caused you to close an ear to what the Father said. But if it has, please friend, open that ear back up. Don't make Him spank you like He spanked me today. ITS NO FUN - TRUST ME! Take Him at His Word. Trust Him enough to walk with you through whatever He has called you to do. Open your ears to His Words. They bring life, joy, comfort and peace. Commit yourself back to Him today.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
While I'm Waiting
Has the Lord promised you something? He has me, however, I'm still in the waiting stage. And the waiting stage is seriously no fun. If you're anything like me you tend you get impatient and try moving on to something else to keep your mind off the something promised. And before you know it, you've completely forgotten all about the thing you had been promised. You start to get wrapped up in the things that probably aren't the best for you. You become lax in what God has called you to do. You fail to stay abiding in Him and His Word. And suddenly, you find you have drifted away from the promise, but worse yet, away from the Promiser. All the while, the Lord looks at you with loving eyes, saying, "Come here, my child."
That's probably never happened to you, but it has me. I've gotten used to the fast lane in life and I like it. I want it here and now and my way. I want to see the promise fulfilled - but I'm unwilling to allow the Promiser to do what it takes for me to handle the promise. (Ouch! That wasn't easy to admit)
So here I am, again recently reminded of the promise. And what will I do? Will I search again for something to take my mind off of it because I don't have the faith that God will come through - or will I allow God to do what He must do in order to prepare me for the promise? Right now, I am waiting. I won't say that I won't get side tracked because Lord knows, I've said just such before. However, today I commit to waiting on Him. I commit to trusting that His ways ARE most definitely better than my ways. I say, "Lord, mold me and make me into whatever it is you'd have me to be. I choose to wait on your promise. And should I get distracted, Lord, draw me back to you."
That's probably never happened to you, but it has me. I've gotten used to the fast lane in life and I like it. I want it here and now and my way. I want to see the promise fulfilled - but I'm unwilling to allow the Promiser to do what it takes for me to handle the promise. (Ouch! That wasn't easy to admit)
So here I am, again recently reminded of the promise. And what will I do? Will I search again for something to take my mind off of it because I don't have the faith that God will come through - or will I allow God to do what He must do in order to prepare me for the promise? Right now, I am waiting. I won't say that I won't get side tracked because Lord knows, I've said just such before. However, today I commit to waiting on Him. I commit to trusting that His ways ARE most definitely better than my ways. I say, "Lord, mold me and make me into whatever it is you'd have me to be. I choose to wait on your promise. And should I get distracted, Lord, draw me back to you."
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Head Up Young Person
But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
— Psalm 3:3 (NIV)
The past few weeks have been trying. And with this new year finally here I'd like to say that it has all of a sudden become easier. However - it has not. Naturally we face things in life that try to bog us down, but our Lord is ever present, always reminding us - He is there. He is walking with us. He is holding up His Shield to protect us from the jabs of the enemy. And He does lift up our heads.
I'm reminded of David and what he must have been thinking when he was being faced with the ugly truth that the king he trusted, no longer trusted him. But instead Saul wanted David dead. Wow. How many times have we been faced with situations where someone we trusted turned on us? Or a moment when you thought things were going one way but you quickly realized - they were actually going in the opposite direction? How how about when you have felt like the whole world was against you?
Again, our Lord is ever present. He is near. And He is always protecting us. Did you ever stop to think - though you are going through THIS trial, He has actually been protecting you from OTHER trials that could have taken you to your breaking point? He always has our best interest at heart. And though its difficult to take in, what He allows us to go through is to make us better men and women of God. He loves us enough to make us more like Him.
So with that said - Head up young person! He is your Shield. He has bestowed you with His glory (WOW....what an honor). And He has lifted up your head. Don't insult Him by putting it back down.
— Psalm 3:3 (NIV)
The past few weeks have been trying. And with this new year finally here I'd like to say that it has all of a sudden become easier. However - it has not. Naturally we face things in life that try to bog us down, but our Lord is ever present, always reminding us - He is there. He is walking with us. He is holding up His Shield to protect us from the jabs of the enemy. And He does lift up our heads.
I'm reminded of David and what he must have been thinking when he was being faced with the ugly truth that the king he trusted, no longer trusted him. But instead Saul wanted David dead. Wow. How many times have we been faced with situations where someone we trusted turned on us? Or a moment when you thought things were going one way but you quickly realized - they were actually going in the opposite direction? How how about when you have felt like the whole world was against you?
Again, our Lord is ever present. He is near. And He is always protecting us. Did you ever stop to think - though you are going through THIS trial, He has actually been protecting you from OTHER trials that could have taken you to your breaking point? He always has our best interest at heart. And though its difficult to take in, what He allows us to go through is to make us better men and women of God. He loves us enough to make us more like Him.
So with that said - Head up young person! He is your Shield. He has bestowed you with His glory (WOW....what an honor). And He has lifted up your head. Don't insult Him by putting it back down.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year 2011
For many I know this past year has a been a very trying year. It has been a year filled with job losses and family losses and financial losses. For many it has been a year that has tested their faith in ways they never thought imaginable. I know more than one person that is glad to see 2010 in their rear view mirror for a hope of a brighter 2011.
Like so many, this year has been a trying year for me. I have been humbled and brought low. And though you would think one would learn - I have been humbled and brought low some more because I apparently didn't learn my lesson the first time. But thank God His mercies are new everyday.
However much I'd love to stay negative and focus on the horrible year we all have had - I'd much rather like to take a moment of gratitude and thank the One who has brought me (and us) through it all.
O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;
When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come,
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Lord, My Lord. Thank you for all you blessed me with this past year. First and foremost, thank you for your daily forgiveness. I know many times I often fail to remember the magnitude of your sacrifice, but thank you for never failing to forgive me. You have walked with me through a year that has been trying and many times overwhelming. You have seen my tears. You have felt my pain. And you heard my cry. You have seen my brokenness and poured your oil of healing on my wounds. Yet through it all, You have silently spoken words of peace and hope even when I failed to listen. How you remain faithful to me even when I have so often been unfaithful to you humbles me yet again.
Though my finances were strained You always managed to show up despite my lack of faith and trust. And you have brought me to a place where I feel as if I can now see the light at the end of a tunnel.
When something dear was taken away, you have manged to help me through it and hold my hand.
I will not understand why some things were allowed and others were not, but God, You are still God.
No matter my situation. You are still God. No matter the battle I face. You are still God. No matter the fear that tries to tear me down. You are still God. And when its all said and done - it will be YOU that remains, My God, You ARE STILL GOD!
Please bless me this next year. Draw me nearer to you. Guide my every step. Prepare the way before me. Open the doors you'd have me walk through and close tightly the ones I'm not to go through. In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN!
Like so many, this year has been a trying year for me. I have been humbled and brought low. And though you would think one would learn - I have been humbled and brought low some more because I apparently didn't learn my lesson the first time. But thank God His mercies are new everyday.
However much I'd love to stay negative and focus on the horrible year we all have had - I'd much rather like to take a moment of gratitude and thank the One who has brought me (and us) through it all.
O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;
When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come,
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Lord, My Lord. Thank you for all you blessed me with this past year. First and foremost, thank you for your daily forgiveness. I know many times I often fail to remember the magnitude of your sacrifice, but thank you for never failing to forgive me. You have walked with me through a year that has been trying and many times overwhelming. You have seen my tears. You have felt my pain. And you heard my cry. You have seen my brokenness and poured your oil of healing on my wounds. Yet through it all, You have silently spoken words of peace and hope even when I failed to listen. How you remain faithful to me even when I have so often been unfaithful to you humbles me yet again.
Though my finances were strained You always managed to show up despite my lack of faith and trust. And you have brought me to a place where I feel as if I can now see the light at the end of a tunnel.
When something dear was taken away, you have manged to help me through it and hold my hand.
I will not understand why some things were allowed and others were not, but God, You are still God.
No matter my situation. You are still God. No matter the battle I face. You are still God. No matter the fear that tries to tear me down. You are still God. And when its all said and done - it will be YOU that remains, My God, You ARE STILL GOD!
Please bless me this next year. Draw me nearer to you. Guide my every step. Prepare the way before me. Open the doors you'd have me walk through and close tightly the ones I'm not to go through. In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN!
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