Autumn

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." - George Eliot

What is it about Autumn that we love so much? Is it the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin? Is it the idea that family gatherings are drawing near? Is it the desire to envelope yourself in the duvet and curl up with a good book? Maybe its that time of year where it makes it okay to drink hot chocolate again. I can't pinpoint what it is for me exactly. I love the coolness in the air. I love warmth in the smells and colors. I love the excuse to be lazy and walk around the house in my pj's and footies. I love that my puppies come to me to put their sweaters on because they are already getting cold before winter even gets here.

But the one thing that I don't love is the remembrance of the past. I don't know why autumn reminds me of the past, but it does. I'm more of a dreamer. I focus on the future more than anything (even to a fault), but lately its been the past that has been sneaking up on me. Successes. Failures. Things unsaid. Things said that shouldn't have been said. Good times and bad.

Maybe Thomas Wolfe said it best when he said "Then summer fades and passes and October comes. We'll smell smoke then, and feel an unexpected sharpness, a thrill of nervousness, swift elation, a sense of sadness and departure." There is joy and contentment, yet at the same time this sadness and sense of unease. What is that exactly?

Golden Pork Chops

I told you last night I was feeling a bit like Suzie homemaker. I really don't know what's up with that, but this is what I made today, Golden Pork Chops. The pork chops were so very tender. I don't know that I've ever had a chop as tender as that before, even from my mother's kitchen. They were definitely melt in your mouth good.

Here is the recipe in case you're dying to try them out for yourself (this recipe serves 6 - I alterred mine a bit to accomodate just 2). I

sauteed the mushrooms, onion, and I added garlic in a pan first and added that to the soup mixture. Then I browned both sides of the chops before putting them in the baking dish:

INGREDIENTS
6 pork chops
1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup fresh sliced mushrooms
2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed golden mushroom soup

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Rinse pork chops, pat dry and place them in a 9x13 inch baking dish.

In a separate small bowl, combine the onion, mushrooms and soup. Mix together well and spoon over the chops.

Cover and bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 45 minutes, then uncover and bake for 15 more minutes. (Note: Time could be less or more depending on the thickness of the chops.) Pork chops are done when their internal temperature has reached 160 degrees F (70 degrees C).

Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread

Tonight I decided to be Suzie homemaker and bake some pumpkin bread. I don't know what it is about Autumn that puts you in the mood to bake, but its done its work on me tonight. In case you're wondering, the bread is de-lish. Here is the recipe if you're feeling "in the mood".

Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread

INGREDIENTS
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7x3 inch loaf pans.

In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.

Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

I added a cream cheese and sugar icing on top. This also makes great muffins. I made two loafs and half a dozen muffins. Hope you enjoy! Let me know how you like it.

What He Valued Most

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old news reel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days."Jack, did you hear me?""Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said."Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him."I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said."You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said."He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral,"Jack said.As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture,every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly."What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked."The box is gone," he said."What box? " Mom asked."There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it."Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention."Mr. Harold Belser" it read.Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside."Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser." "The thing he valued most...was...my time."Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked."I need some time to spend with my son," he said."Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

Updated Kitchen

The past two weekends I have been working away at my kitchen. Even though I have the house up for sale I thought I could do a couple of minor updates to the kitchen to try to make it more appealling not only to buyers but also to myself. The kitchen has been the most dated thing in the house and now it looks SOOO much better. I have to say I'm so proud of myself. Thanks to Julie I have a new sink installed. The countertops have been redone (YAY! The green is gone)and I have a really fancy backsplash that shines! Hope you like it as much as I do. I don't think I want to leave now! (Okay so maybe I still do, but I wish I could take my house with me!)

Before:

After:

Diary of a Mad Massage Therapist Vol.3

Just a few more rules of spa etiquette. Apparently you people are needing a bit more assistance in knowing how to act in a spa.

9. Do not go get a massage with the smell of sex on you. Yes, you all know what I'm talking about. Do you really think I want to smell that? No I don't. How hard is it to take a shower? Go wash the stank off of ya before you come in my room. Seriously! Maybe I'm a bit jealous. Yes, but at least I'd have the decency to SHOWER before I went to get a massage.

10. Wash your hands after you use the bathroom. Do not expect me to massage your hands after you have wiped your ass. I don't want your urine and feces on my hands. Unless you want it to end up all over your face....take my advice. Wash your hands!

11. Do not come into my room after you have just gone outside and smoked. I don't need my room to reek of an ashtray. I don't rub a cigarette in your face....don't bring your cloud of smoke in my room.

12. All of us spa techs are so grateful for the gratuities you leave us, however if you plan on leaving anything less than $5, please don't bother. Anything less than $5 (and that is pushing it) is more of an insult than a "thank you". What we really want to do is hunt you down and put it back in your hand and say "Apparently you need this more than I do." I know what you're thinking.....this woman is an ungrateful bitch. Maybe so...but its the truth and I'm willing to bet my co-workers would all agree with me (trust me they would....we've all talked about this exact situation more times than we can count!)

I'm On The Patch

So I've failed to fill you in on my little secret. I'm on the patch. No, not to quit smoking. No, not for birth control (no need for that since I'm in No Man Desert). I've got the SPEED PATCH BABY! Yes, I take speed. No, not to get a high. Quite the opposite. More to get a low. At least a low for my brain. This wonderful disease called A.D.D. really is a tricky thing. Who would ever have thought giving someone with ADD a bit of speed would help calm their out of control brains (yes I have two...HA) down?

I've been on a couple of different pills and they all seem to either make my heart beat out of chest (we wouldn't want to mess up those wonderful boobs I have now would we) or I turn into a raging lunatic. I'm opting for neither one! So I try out the patch. Mmmmm...does the body good. EXCEPT...it leaves this stickiness around the edge that won't come off. I scrub and scrub and it still won't come off. So I have all these little sticky spots on my butt (because that's where the doc says I have to put it) and well I don't like it. I know no one is looking at my butt, but I am. I see it and its not at all flattering. And just what if someone happens to come along one day and happens to decide he can't live without me....He'll see my butt.....with all the stickys. WHAT AM I TO DO? I tried oil tonight, but it only KIND OF helped.

So ladies(or men) out there that have to wear the patch for birth control or smoking....WHAT DO YOU DO to get this sticky stuff off? Or is it just me (*GASP* I don't think I can handle that...so lie if you have to)?

HillBilly1303, I Hate You

(Hate is such a strong word....I'll settle for DISLIKE INTENSELY)
Okay so here it goes. I haven't been completely honest with you guys. *Deep Breath*

I'm signed up on an internet dating site. Yes, I'm desperate (but I guess not desperate enough since I'll only sign up for the FREE part). But the fact of the matter is, there is absolutely no chance of me finding someone in the Arm Pit of Hell (aka Biloxi, MS). This place is full of losers and alcoholics and obsessive gamblers that it leaves no room for The Good Man. So you see, I have to resort to internet dating. Actually wait, while I'm being honest....I only sign up to feed my ego. I don't actually respond to these losers. I don't actually "wink" back at them. I just need a little pick me up every once in a while. So I'll log on. See if anyone halfway decent has "winked" or emailed and then go about my day.

Recently I decided I was going to have a bit of fun with myself (yes its either me or my best friend that keeps me entertained....the rest of you really need to kick it up a notch). So I went on True.com (the current dating site) and put the headline "How is it that a woman with no legs and no arms can get a HUSBAND and I can't even get a date?" I thought it was funny....yet insulting (to me no doubt). Nothing against this lady...she seems rather nice. But I'm just wondering how this woman got a wonderful man (not attractive, but really sweet) and I can't even get a date. Now I know I'm no Miss America. I'm no Jessica Simpson or Cat Von D or Eva Mendes or Kate Hudson. I'm just me. I'm normal. A little over weight. But I have a beautiful smile, great eyes, lovely teeth, and killer BOOBS! I mean if anything shouldn't a guy ask me out just to be close to my boobs???

So anyway, this JACKASS decides he is going to take it upon himself to email me. Just for those of you wanting to avoid every jackass possible his handle on True.com is HILLBILLY1303. This idiot doesn't even have a picture of himself. Moving along. So this is what he writes:

"would you like for me to answer your question?because the woman with no legs SETTLED for the man that would have her instead of complaining about him.I am not saying this to be ugly I am just trying to help.You are a very pretty woman so maybe it's your attitude!"

I'm not saying this to be ugly and then BAM...maybe it's your attitude. Listen Jackass with a little penis....have you ever heard of the word Rhetorical? I don't need your insults. I'm on here for the ego boosts only. So go be hateful to someone else.....and go buy some PENIS ENHANCEMENTS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!

*DISCLAIMER*
Due to the rudeness of your comment, Mr. Hillbilly1303, your identity was not hidden in this blog!

Urine Treatment

Massage Therapist: Is there anything I need to be awareful healthwise?

Client: Is that a fever blister on your lip?

Massage Therapist: Ummm...Yes.

Client: Are your hands clean?

Massage Therapist: (No, I haven't washed them for days. WHAT?!?!) Yes ma'am they are.

Client: Well you know I get them too, but they are highly contagious.

Massage Therapist: Well if it'll make you feel better I'll wash my hands AGAIN when I come back in the room.

Okay, let me give you a bit of background on this lady. As I called for her she was just coming from the ladies room. She nearly forgot to wash her hands, but then remembered. Her version of washing her hands is turning on the water, letting her hands run underneath for five seconds (without soap no doubt) and then turns the water off without using a paper towel to touch the handle. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Needless to say I did not massage her hands, although I should have and then given her a face massage and asked her how she liked the new urine treatment.

Did she think I was going kiss her on the lips....either pair? I mean seriously....the entire six years I've been a therapist I have NEVER been asked something so rude. Do these people think I'm their freakin' slave and they can talk to me any way they choose? I don't think so!

I'm hoping that this lady comes across my blog by chance. I hope she sees her stupidity. I hope chokes on her spit as she swallows.

Sleep:

the natural periodic suspension of consciousness during which the powers of the body are restored.

And that is what I did last night. YAY! I slept. I got rest. The powers of my body are restored! HA! That part is funny.

Yesterday I actually ended up "calling out" from work. There was just absolutely no way I could have gone to work. That little disclaimer I put on yesterday's blog would NOT have worked on my behalf had I ended up raking someone over the coals for looking at me wrong, asking me if my hands hurt doing massage, asking me where the lockers were, etc, etc, etc. So I did what anyone else would do. I spent half the day lounging around obsessing over this years Presidential Election and then went out to lunch where my best friend and I were not so thrilled with the food - thus wasting money (Seriously people. Haven't you heard we're in an economic crisis here. The least you could do is offer GOOD food for the money we shell out.) Then went to Books a Mirrion(Million for you little people outside of my world) and bought the new Nicolas Sparks book. Yeah, I'm in love with him. I'll admit it. His wife doesn't know yet so *shhhh*. Then I come home to take a Chemistry test which I completely bombed. And ended the day having a "fight" with my lovely (ex)realtor - the Beauty Queen. Seriously - I think she lost the memo telling her she works for me not the other way around. So all in all. It was a good day!

I pray my "sleep - the natural periodic suspension of consciousness during which the powers of the body are restored" is going to do me some good today. Wish me well on my massaging endeavors.

P.S. I'm thinking of having an affair with Webster too!
(okay for those of you who do not know who "Webster" is, just go to http://www.webster.com/ to find out.

Just A Thought....

I'm wondering if those deciding to vote for Obama think the rest of us are just in love with the idea of McCain. Look, we ALL know that McCain is going to bring more of what we've been having the past eight years. We can only hope that he will bring about some relief. But when we look at both canidates - really - who is the lesser of two evils? I really am a bit concerned that so many people are voting for Obama because they think it's "cool", or that he wants to bring the troops home right away (Let me just say - I don't think you can you just pull out of a country like he is talking of doing 1. It makes us look weak 2. Its NOT that easy), or that he is going to bring all this tax relief, or that its proving to yourself that you aren't a racist. YES! I said it! I think so many people feel the need to prove to the world and themselves that they are not racist and thus - they are voting for this "African American" (I use that term loosely as Barack Obama is about as black as I am).

I'm also wondering why in the world people are ignoring these things:

1. The man did NOT want to put his hand over his heart when the National Anthem was played.
2. The man makes excuses for why he doesn't wear an American flag pin on his lapel. I know this really isn't that big of a deal, but making excuses for it is.
3. The man only separated himself from his American hating pastor AFTER people started to question it. HE SAID HE WOULD STAND BY HIM.
4. The man has only served in the Senate 143 days. Like my best friend said - I wouldn't trust my HAIR to someone with 143 days of experience. Why would I trust my country?
5. His wife does NOT like America or white people. I'm sorry? Come again? She does not like America? She said this is the first time she has been proud of her country. WHAT? Nothing - absolutely nothing has made you proud of America? Are you serious here? And she doesn't like white people. Okay, I'm sorry but as a white person I find this pretty offensive. I mean if I were to say I didn't like black people I would be labled a racist. But its okay for this lady....this potential "first lady" to say such things. Do you not think she will be another Hillary - running the country? If you don't you are SADLY mistaken. This is an issue whether you want to admit it or not.
6. Barak Obama is FRIENDS with people from Iran and Syria and Iraq. I'm sorry this concerns me. Anyone a friend of the enemy is the enemy itself in my opinion.
7. Obama is acceptting campaign money from foreign countries. What? I'm sorry, what do OTHER countries have to do with an AMERICAN election. I know I know....what happens to American affects other countries, but do you seriously think it is ethical to accept money from other countries to further YOUR political agenda.
8. Last but not least, Obama is for Obama. He is NOT for this country. He is not for the people no matter how many times he tells you he is. He is for "Change" people. Do not be fooled into thinking this is the kind of change you and I are looking for. This is a man absorbed in himself. This is a man that is hungry for power not for people. This is a man that will make you put your head down and close your eyes and think "God, what in the world is going on." This man is NOT what our country needs. I do not want to question whose side my president is on. I need to know he will fight for our country at all costs. I need to know that my freedoms are potected. I need to know that my future child(ren) will continue to have the same freedoms that I have today. And my friend, I do not KNOW that with Barack Obama. That is a sad thing.

This isn't all - there is so much more. But again, don't be fooled into thinking this man is for our country. Let's just ignore the fact that his Muslim background keeps popping up thus making him a threat to our country and focus on the fact that like I stated in #8 he is for Obama. Not the people of America. Not the country of America. Obama the man. Not Obama the "messiah" as some want to refer to him. He is a man. That's it. Plain and simple thinking only of himself.

Friends, please be careful in who you give this important title of President to. It's not a joke. This isn't the most debated election by chance. This is the future of our country.

Insomnia

Why is it that my brain runs in a million different directions. I'm on medication for this thing called ADD.....this shouldn't be happening. Yet it does...nearly every night. Why can't my little brain (as some would argue - I don't even have the energy to dispute that right now) just...rest. Be silent. Be still. Take a vacation. Sleep. WHATEVER! ANYTHING! I'll take whatever the heck I can get. But no, here I am at 4:18 a.m. typing away ranting about my poor, overstressed brain. People, this is serious. I've been awake since 1:30 a.m. I have to work today. I have to be "up" in like an hour and a half. And its not like I can sit at my pretty little desk and have a slow day. No, I'm a freakin' massage therapist. People depend on me being alert and not falling asleep on them while in a dark room trying to make them fall asleep. HOW CRUEL IS THAT!?!?!? I totally did NOT see the irony in that until JUST NOW.

There is absolutely NO point in trying to go back to sleep now. I mean I'm only torturing myself if I do that. If I were to just fall asleep right now (HA! Like that would ever happen) I wouldn't even have enough time for a full sleep cycle. Okay, so maybe this is a good thing. I'll be so tired when I get home that when I actually go to bed tonight...I might be able to sleep (can anyone define this word for me). We can only hope and pray.

*DISCLAIMER*
Please do not send me little "tid bits" to help me fall asleep such as camomile tea, hot milk, hot bath, etc. It may put me in a state of rage and I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Good day!

Would YOU put our flag upside down?

Another email I received today. Really people, are you NOT paying attention to what is going on? Do you REALLY want a president that doesn't give a damn about OUR COUNTRY? If so - go ahead...vote for Obama. You want "CHANGE"? Yep, you'll get change all right!

NBC Channel 9 in Denver is reporting that the DNC Convention ticket shows an upside down American flag. Go here to read the full story: http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=97788&catid=188

Let's see now. Obama does not wear a flag pin because it does not represent "true patriotism". Obama does not hold his hand over his heart during the National anthem. Obama's campaign remakes the Presidential seal using his logo and slogan in Latin. Obama takes the American flag off of his campaign plane. Obama puts the Obama logo and "President" on his first class leather chair in his new campaign plane. Now the DNC puts the American flag upside down on its convention tickets.

Coincidence? I think not.

Anti-war protestors typically carry or display the American flag upside down.

The rules on display of the American flag are very specific, "Section 8, The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property."

57 States?????

An email I received today. Something to think about!

From Rush Limbaugh's radio show.....

You are aware, probably, that Barack Obama lost his bearings recently and said that he was going to campaign in all 57 states.You heard this? And most everybody
chalked it up to, 'Well, he's tired.'You know, this is a Dan Quayle
moment. I mean, Dan Quayle goes out there and misspells 'potato,' and
we still hear jokes about it.Barack Obama says he's gonna go out and
campaign in 57 states! He was just tired, you know, it's been such a long
campaign, he's been so many places, he probably thinks there are 57
states.Well, I have here a printout from a web site called the International
Humanist and Ethical Union.And here is how the second paragraph of an article on
that website begins.'Every year from 1999 to 2005 the organization of the
Islamic conference representing the 57 Islamic states presented a resolution to
the United Nations Commission on human rights called commbating.'

Obama said he's going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that
there are 57 Islamic states.

There are 57 Islamic states!So did Obama just lose his bearings, or was
this a more telling, Freudian slip, ladies and gentlemen?KEEP IT GOING, FOLKS!
Our future is at stake...

Make no mistake about-


Hi everyone, I have once again done my homework to see if this correct
and it is...surprise. You can also look it up on Snoops, but I went a little
further and got my information from the Islamic Conference-Http follows..take a
look.
>
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organisation_of_the_Islamic_Conference
>