I'm On The Patch

So I've failed to fill you in on my little secret. I'm on the patch. No, not to quit smoking. No, not for birth control (no need for that since I'm in No Man Desert). I've got the SPEED PATCH BABY! Yes, I take speed. No, not to get a high. Quite the opposite. More to get a low. At least a low for my brain. This wonderful disease called A.D.D. really is a tricky thing. Who would ever have thought giving someone with ADD a bit of speed would help calm their out of control brains (yes I have two...HA) down?

I've been on a couple of different pills and they all seem to either make my heart beat out of chest (we wouldn't want to mess up those wonderful boobs I have now would we) or I turn into a raging lunatic. I'm opting for neither one! So I try out the patch. Mmmmm...does the body good. EXCEPT...it leaves this stickiness around the edge that won't come off. I scrub and scrub and it still won't come off. So I have all these little sticky spots on my butt (because that's where the doc says I have to put it) and well I don't like it. I know no one is looking at my butt, but I am. I see it and its not at all flattering. And just what if someone happens to come along one day and happens to decide he can't live without me....He'll see my butt.....with all the stickys. WHAT AM I TO DO? I tried oil tonight, but it only KIND OF helped.

So ladies(or men) out there that have to wear the patch for birth control or smoking....WHAT DO YOU DO to get this sticky stuff off? Or is it just me (*GASP* I don't think I can handle that...so lie if you have to)?