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| I am only hoping I can come across a chandelier like this |
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| I want these! |
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| Beyond adorable |
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| A place to call home. |
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| Absolutely Breathtaking |
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tiffany Blue
I am currently obsessed with everything Tiffany Blue though I have not added it into my life as of yet. But have no fear - it draws near. I've decided to transform my guest bedroom into a Tiffany Blue Box. I recently purchased a white and black duvet, black candles, a Tiffany Blue (acutally a shade darker) and black lamp. I'm currently looking for Tiffany Blue sheets. Accesories will soon follow I'm sure. My plan is to paint the bedroom walls and floor (yes floor - that ugly carpet is coming up) Tiffany Blue. I haven't decorated anything in quite some time so I'm completely excited about this endeavor. I just have to find the right paint color. Here are some recent pictures that I've fallen head over heals for. Enjoy! I know I have.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Walking to the Alter
There are moments in life where decisions have to be made that are not always easy. And rarely are they easy to stand by - but they are a must. The moment of decision does not come suddenly, but through many hours of thought and anguish. You are well aware of the possible outcomes. You are aware of the costs. And you are completely aware of the pain that could follow. But at the end of the day - a decision must be made and you must trust that God is in control.
Abraham faced something like that. God told him to do something he would never have imagined. God told him to sacrifice his only son. Can you imagine? You were told by God that you would be the father of many nations, yet you have no child. And God doesn't give you one right away. He waits until you're old and then says - okay - now I'll give you a son. So here you are - old - finally with this son you've dreamed about - and God tells you to go sacrifice him! Are you KIDDING ME!?! No, God was not kidding. I'm sure Abraham wished he heard God wrong at that moment. Just the thought makes my heart sink. Yet, a decision had to be made. Will I do what must be done? Or will I follow my own plan? Will I do what is best in God's eyes? Or will I do what is best for me? Don't act like you haven't contemplated the thought of what is best for you instead of what is God's best. And so, I'm sure with heavy heart, our father Abraham followed God's lead. He gathered his things, including his only son, and headed to the alter where he would make a sacrifice.
What has God asked you to sacrifice? Is there something He is asking you to lay on the alter before Him? He has of me. And I have walked to the alter and laid it down. You see, we know the end of the story of Abraham. We know that God provided another sacrifice. However, sometimes we forget that Abraham had to actually put Isaac on that alter. I sit here trying to imagine how Abraham must have felt. Fear? God, what will Sarah say about this? Will she understand? Hurt? God, I don't know why you are asking me to do this. Why did you give him to me in the first place? Brokenness? I know this man of God tried to be strong, but I can almost see his already swollen eyes and then the all too familiar tears start streaming down his face as he looks at his son. And finally trust. God I will trust you because you are my God. You gave, but today, you take away. Thank you for the moments you allowed me to have. Then. Then and only then did God bring another sacrifice on the scene.
Here we are at decision time. Will I trust God, or will I trust my emotions? Oh I've felt all of those emotions. Fear, hurt, brokenness. I know them all too well. I wish I could tell myself that God will show up just like He did for Abraham. But that doesn't always happen. The trust is - trusting that God's ways are higher than our ways. His plans are higher than our plans. God is still God, no matter the outcome. Know that my friend.
And so I, with shaky legs, fear of the unknown, hurting heart, and swollen eyes have come to God to sacrifice what is His. Because at the end of the day - I am not my own. I was bought with a price. I am not here for my glory and my plans but to glorify Him.
Ephesians 5:20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Abraham faced something like that. God told him to do something he would never have imagined. God told him to sacrifice his only son. Can you imagine? You were told by God that you would be the father of many nations, yet you have no child. And God doesn't give you one right away. He waits until you're old and then says - okay - now I'll give you a son. So here you are - old - finally with this son you've dreamed about - and God tells you to go sacrifice him! Are you KIDDING ME!?! No, God was not kidding. I'm sure Abraham wished he heard God wrong at that moment. Just the thought makes my heart sink. Yet, a decision had to be made. Will I do what must be done? Or will I follow my own plan? Will I do what is best in God's eyes? Or will I do what is best for me? Don't act like you haven't contemplated the thought of what is best for you instead of what is God's best. And so, I'm sure with heavy heart, our father Abraham followed God's lead. He gathered his things, including his only son, and headed to the alter where he would make a sacrifice.
What has God asked you to sacrifice? Is there something He is asking you to lay on the alter before Him? He has of me. And I have walked to the alter and laid it down. You see, we know the end of the story of Abraham. We know that God provided another sacrifice. However, sometimes we forget that Abraham had to actually put Isaac on that alter. I sit here trying to imagine how Abraham must have felt. Fear? God, what will Sarah say about this? Will she understand? Hurt? God, I don't know why you are asking me to do this. Why did you give him to me in the first place? Brokenness? I know this man of God tried to be strong, but I can almost see his already swollen eyes and then the all too familiar tears start streaming down his face as he looks at his son. And finally trust. God I will trust you because you are my God. You gave, but today, you take away. Thank you for the moments you allowed me to have. Then. Then and only then did God bring another sacrifice on the scene.
Here we are at decision time. Will I trust God, or will I trust my emotions? Oh I've felt all of those emotions. Fear, hurt, brokenness. I know them all too well. I wish I could tell myself that God will show up just like He did for Abraham. But that doesn't always happen. The trust is - trusting that God's ways are higher than our ways. His plans are higher than our plans. God is still God, no matter the outcome. Know that my friend.
And so I, with shaky legs, fear of the unknown, hurting heart, and swollen eyes have come to God to sacrifice what is His. Because at the end of the day - I am not my own. I was bought with a price. I am not here for my glory and my plans but to glorify Him.
Ephesians 5:20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
He is Worthy
Do you ever have those days where you wake up desperate for something encouraging to happen? Hoping that there will a break in dam that seems to hold you back? Life isn't bad, but today you've been hurt and there is no shoulder to cry on. There is no one to say, I understand. You feel utterly alone. Today is just that day. However, instead of getting up and searching for something positive I chose to stay in bed. I chose to lay there wishing I could fall asleep and not wake until the next morning. No one look at me. No one touch me. Just let me sulk and continue to feel hurt.
And God says - Get up, Liberty. Then subtly He reminds me of a verse.
You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
— 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)
He has called me chosen, royal, holy, and most importantly - HIS. But it doesn't stop there. He has made us all these things to declare His praises. He is worthy to be praised no matter what situation I am in. He is worthy to be praised no matter the hurt I may feel. He is worthy to be praised in the good times and bad.
So today, Lord, I praise you for all that you are. You are the Great I Am. You are the Beginning and the End. You are my strength and my song. You are my Comforter and Friend. You are Holy, Holy, Holy.
I'm thankful God didn't wake up this morning and say - No one look at me, No one touch me.
And God says - Get up, Liberty. Then subtly He reminds me of a verse.
You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
— 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)
He has called me chosen, royal, holy, and most importantly - HIS. But it doesn't stop there. He has made us all these things to declare His praises. He is worthy to be praised no matter what situation I am in. He is worthy to be praised no matter the hurt I may feel. He is worthy to be praised in the good times and bad.
So today, Lord, I praise you for all that you are. You are the Great I Am. You are the Beginning and the End. You are my strength and my song. You are my Comforter and Friend. You are Holy, Holy, Holy.
I'm thankful God didn't wake up this morning and say - No one look at me, No one touch me.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Oh The Places You'll Go
Maybe I've posted this before - but its worth a second go around. Dr. Seuss was amazing with his simple nugguts of wisdom.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Friday, July 30, 2010
And I Shall Be Called Traveler
After this summer, I have decided that - when I grow up - I want to be a Traveler. Yes, you heard me right. I want to be a traveler. I want to go here and there and everywhere and do it again and again. This year has started something that I don't believe will ever be completely satisfied - and thus - I won't be satisfied. I don't believe that I'll be able to sit back and live a normal life of staying home all the time and worrying with things like the grass getting cut or the weeds being pulled or the flowers getting watered. Maybe I should look into condos?!?!? I will go and see and do until my heart is content - but it won't be because there will always be something new and exciting to do and see. (Okay so maybe I'm dreaming - but let me have my little dream. I don't allow myself to have too many of them!)
I realized that I haven't posted too many pics on here lately of my travels so here are some of my expereinces. Enjoy (I sure did!)
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| Wicked - an amazing show |
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| The best Panini I think I've ever put in my mouth! |
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| Times Square |
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| My Lady Liberty |
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| Me about to kick some go cart butt! |
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| Canterbury Race Track - Minnesota |
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| Minnesota - I still can't believe how much I liked it there. |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Enter the Throne Room
Today I find myself extremely restless....craving a moment with God, yet doing everything but being still enough to hear His voice or even just talk to Him. I've gone to the grocery store. I've stained the desk. I've taken my computer to the repairman. I've washed and put the dishes away. I've put a load of laundry in the wash. I've looked at Facebook more times than I care to admit. And here I am writing a post! I'm desiring a moment with God, yet I do everything but spend time with Him. Something is completely wrong with this picture. How did life get so packed with busy-ness (is that a word?) that I can't seem to stop for the moment that I'm desiring? And when I actually sit and ponder this, I realize its not busy-ness....its me. If I want a moment with God - I need to take it like the Wine Diva took the race (guess you had to be there)!
Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
When I go visit my parents, I knock on the door, but I don't wait for them to answer. I just walk on in! God longs for a relationship with us. He longs for us to be with Him. And yet, so many times we shuffle our feet outside of His door instead of just walking right on in. Its okay - He's waiting for you.
And for me....I've gotta go. My Father is expecting me!
Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
When I go visit my parents, I knock on the door, but I don't wait for them to answer. I just walk on in! God longs for a relationship with us. He longs for us to be with Him. And yet, so many times we shuffle our feet outside of His door instead of just walking right on in. Its okay - He's waiting for you.
And for me....I've gotta go. My Father is expecting me!
Friday, July 9, 2010
If You Aren't Careful
I can't say that I've lived a very exciting life. I haven't been to the moon. I haven't cured cancer. I haven't caught a purse snatcher. And I probably haven't changed a lot of lives around me. Its easy to get wrapped up in the everyday business of going to work/school/both. Its easy to see the same people day in and day out and fail to actually see them. Its easy to forget the important things like eatting snow cones, getting kisses from your puppy, getting lost in a child's laughter, feeling the sand between your toes, be the reason someone smiles, watching the sunrise/sunset, get lost in rolling hills, feel the wind in your hair, dance like no one is around, and laugh until it hurts and keep laughing. No one can do it for you - you have to live your own life. And if you aren't careful - life will pass you by and you will be left wondering where it went. So has my life been exciting? No. But I have lived life. It hasn't always been fun or easy. It has had its highs and its lows. I have loved and lost...and still been blessed enough to love again. I have gained friends and lost friends and gained again. I have seen places I never thought I would see. I have accomplished things I never thought possible. I have failed. I have succeeded. And I have lived.
Thank God for that.
Thank God for that.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Surprise!
Philippians 4:19
And my God shall supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
It always amazes me when God surprises us out of no where. I mean - I never saw it coming. Its not that I didn't think He was capable. Its not that I thought He didn't care. It just never occurred to me to expect it.
Lately I've been a bit discouraged. Here I am out of school and want to work to save money for next semester (not to mention pay my current bills). Yet I find it difficult to get the days. And the thought runs through my mind over and over again - if you don't work you don't eat. I'm a firm believer in that. And still - its not that I don't want to work - I just can't get the days to work. So finally I prayed (why do we sometimes look to God last instead of first???? Please tell me I am not the only one that has been guilty of this a time or two!). And then all of a sudden God started opening the doors.
James 1:6-7
But when you ask [God], but sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
He does promise us that He will take care of us. If He takes care of the birds - surely He will take care of His children. I mean surely! But if we don't expect anything - If we don't anticipate He will come through on such a promise - why should He? Fortunate for me (and you), He abounds in grace and mercy. Even when I neglect the simplest of acts - just to expect Him to show up - He does it anyway. I am humbled that He cares enough show up. I am humbled by His thoughtfulness. And I am humbled that He chose me - on this day - to give a surprise to.
Expect something from God today and see what He does!
And my God shall supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
It always amazes me when God surprises us out of no where. I mean - I never saw it coming. Its not that I didn't think He was capable. Its not that I thought He didn't care. It just never occurred to me to expect it.
Lately I've been a bit discouraged. Here I am out of school and want to work to save money for next semester (not to mention pay my current bills). Yet I find it difficult to get the days. And the thought runs through my mind over and over again - if you don't work you don't eat. I'm a firm believer in that. And still - its not that I don't want to work - I just can't get the days to work. So finally I prayed (why do we sometimes look to God last instead of first???? Please tell me I am not the only one that has been guilty of this a time or two!). And then all of a sudden God started opening the doors.
James 1:6-7
But when you ask [God], but sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
He does promise us that He will take care of us. If He takes care of the birds - surely He will take care of His children. I mean surely! But if we don't expect anything - If we don't anticipate He will come through on such a promise - why should He? Fortunate for me (and you), He abounds in grace and mercy. Even when I neglect the simplest of acts - just to expect Him to show up - He does it anyway. I am humbled that He cares enough show up. I am humbled by His thoughtfulness. And I am humbled that He chose me - on this day - to give a surprise to.
Expect something from God today and see what He does!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
What is Love?
Really, what is love? I feel like I need to break out into that song tonight because it expresses everything I want to say right now but don't know how.
In Bible study tonight I was hit with a few eye opening moments that relate to my situation right now.
1. Love keeps no records of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13 speaks nothing but about love and what it is and isn't. Today, even before I was hit with that passage, I knew that I knew - that I love him. And that made matters worse. Because if truth be told, it would be so much easier to realize that I really did not love him at all - that it was nice, yes, but it was not love. Alas, that was not the case. So when I came home tonight and found a dozen roses on my door step with a card that simply read "I'm Sorry" I began to sob like a baby to the point of physically getting ill. Mainly because - I don't know how to respond. This man I love never tells me he is sorry - and he chooses this moment to express those powerful words. Words that heal. Words that comfort. Whether you're wrong or right - they are powerful. But how do you express to someone that - this is my heart you're dealing with and you've pierced it deeply. You cut me, you cut me deep (okay so thats an inside joke - even though its quite real).
2. I am a stepping stone for God. That is all I am and everything that I am all in one. Every moment of my life should be lived to further His kingdom. And so in looking at my current situation...I asked myself "Have you been a stepping stone in his life?" "Have you left a mark on his life for God that cannot be erased?" I pray I have. I pray that each day he would forget more and more the hurtful things of the past because of the love I poured into his life. I pray each day he would see himself more and more as the child of God than the negative thoughts he has of himself because of the postive things I try to instill in him. But if truth be told, I have no clue. I do know that I tried to love him with everything I was. I tried to give of myself with no holding back even though at moments I called myself a fool for doing so. At times I'm sure I've been guarded, for fear of getting hurt. But each day I tried to give a nugget of love that was lasting - hopefully I succeeded.
So what is love?
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resonding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
In Bible study tonight I was hit with a few eye opening moments that relate to my situation right now.
1. Love keeps no records of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13 speaks nothing but about love and what it is and isn't. Today, even before I was hit with that passage, I knew that I knew - that I love him. And that made matters worse. Because if truth be told, it would be so much easier to realize that I really did not love him at all - that it was nice, yes, but it was not love. Alas, that was not the case. So when I came home tonight and found a dozen roses on my door step with a card that simply read "I'm Sorry" I began to sob like a baby to the point of physically getting ill. Mainly because - I don't know how to respond. This man I love never tells me he is sorry - and he chooses this moment to express those powerful words. Words that heal. Words that comfort. Whether you're wrong or right - they are powerful. But how do you express to someone that - this is my heart you're dealing with and you've pierced it deeply. You cut me, you cut me deep (okay so thats an inside joke - even though its quite real).
2. I am a stepping stone for God. That is all I am and everything that I am all in one. Every moment of my life should be lived to further His kingdom. And so in looking at my current situation...I asked myself "Have you been a stepping stone in his life?" "Have you left a mark on his life for God that cannot be erased?" I pray I have. I pray that each day he would forget more and more the hurtful things of the past because of the love I poured into his life. I pray each day he would see himself more and more as the child of God than the negative thoughts he has of himself because of the postive things I try to instill in him. But if truth be told, I have no clue. I do know that I tried to love him with everything I was. I tried to give of myself with no holding back even though at moments I called myself a fool for doing so. At times I'm sure I've been guarded, for fear of getting hurt. But each day I tried to give a nugget of love that was lasting - hopefully I succeeded.
So what is love?
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resonding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
What Are You Afraid Of?
The past two weeks I have been fighting an inward battle. There have been hurtful events this year that have caused emotions to rise up from deep within that I'd rather suppress. I'd rather act like they weren't there because the honest truth is - they are ugly and foul and not very becoming. I've tried ignoring them. I've tried covering them up with a smile. I've tried pretending the events never happened. But they did and the emotions are real.
And so this week, God in all His wisdom uncovered them. He slowly started at the edge of the band-aid....and then ripped it off! It started with a question from my mother and ended with me vehemently spewing words of anger and bitterness out of my mouth. I was shocked! I thought it was under control. I thought I had accepted this fate. I even prayed blessings for this one that caused a hurt so deep. Really, I should have been okay, right? And so I prayed some more. Then God brought another unsuspecting bystander along, who was simply making conversation. And I lost it. I unloaded a hurt on an innocent one. And so I was wrong. Very wrong. I was no okay.
So choosing a moment that was completely uncomfortable to me - choosing a moment where I was surrounded by many (by my standards) God spoke 5 simply words to me through Beth Moore. Beth overwhelms me with knowing what to say at exactly the right time. Her question was: What are you afraid of? (those are not the 5 words - hang in there with me) I sat there and pondered - what exactly am I afraid of? I knew it was something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I've said it a million times when asked that question, but for whatever reason it had left me. And then she spoke the one nasty word - Failure. Fear of failing God. Fear of failing those around me. Fear of failing myself. I realized at that moment that the fear of failing someone had come to pass, but it didn't end there. I felt as if someone had failed me. Then He said it: "I will never fail you." And the dam broke. The tears I was holding back could be held back no more. They were streaming down my face. My nose was running. And the more I tried to hold back, the more the tears came. I was sobbing. I was broken. And God said, "But, My Love, I will not fail you." "Stop depending on people - and depend on me."
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
How stubborn we are that we have to go through such heart wrenching moments to hear what our Father is saying? It really must just be me.
And so this week, God in all His wisdom uncovered them. He slowly started at the edge of the band-aid....and then ripped it off! It started with a question from my mother and ended with me vehemently spewing words of anger and bitterness out of my mouth. I was shocked! I thought it was under control. I thought I had accepted this fate. I even prayed blessings for this one that caused a hurt so deep. Really, I should have been okay, right? And so I prayed some more. Then God brought another unsuspecting bystander along, who was simply making conversation. And I lost it. I unloaded a hurt on an innocent one. And so I was wrong. Very wrong. I was no okay.
So choosing a moment that was completely uncomfortable to me - choosing a moment where I was surrounded by many (by my standards) God spoke 5 simply words to me through Beth Moore. Beth overwhelms me with knowing what to say at exactly the right time. Her question was: What are you afraid of? (those are not the 5 words - hang in there with me) I sat there and pondered - what exactly am I afraid of? I knew it was something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I've said it a million times when asked that question, but for whatever reason it had left me. And then she spoke the one nasty word - Failure. Fear of failing God. Fear of failing those around me. Fear of failing myself. I realized at that moment that the fear of failing someone had come to pass, but it didn't end there. I felt as if someone had failed me. Then He said it: "I will never fail you." And the dam broke. The tears I was holding back could be held back no more. They were streaming down my face. My nose was running. And the more I tried to hold back, the more the tears came. I was sobbing. I was broken. And God said, "But, My Love, I will not fail you." "Stop depending on people - and depend on me."
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
How stubborn we are that we have to go through such heart wrenching moments to hear what our Father is saying? It really must just be me.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Touched
There are days when I feel as if every moment passes by and nothing special has happened. Its an everyday kind of day that neither thrills nor depresses, but just IS. And then there are days that are enveloped with little surprises or miracles that can take your breath away. They are the moments that are least expected and maybe never even dreamed. Yet for whatever reason, God graces you with a moment that will touch your heart.
Last night I had a moment. It was a moment that may not seem like much to most, but to me it was touching. And even now I'm left nearly speechless as to how I felt. As we sat down to eat, the Boyfriend (whose name will remain nameless because he really may not want his name splashed on the internet) muted the t.v. and asked, shall we pray? ...... That's it.
You're probably thinking, What? Are you serious? Is all this special moment crap really about a blessing over dinner? And the answer is, Yes. For me, it was a moment. He didn't know he was about to create a moment, but it was he who pricked my heart with joy and hope and love. And so right there at dinner, I felt blessed (for a number of reasons I'll keep to myself). So, to the Boyfriend, thank you. xoxox
The moments are there if we will only take the time to view life a little differently than we did the day before.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One as though nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
Last night I had a moment. It was a moment that may not seem like much to most, but to me it was touching. And even now I'm left nearly speechless as to how I felt. As we sat down to eat, the Boyfriend (whose name will remain nameless because he really may not want his name splashed on the internet) muted the t.v. and asked, shall we pray? ...... That's it.
You're probably thinking, What? Are you serious? Is all this special moment crap really about a blessing over dinner? And the answer is, Yes. For me, it was a moment. He didn't know he was about to create a moment, but it was he who pricked my heart with joy and hope and love. And so right there at dinner, I felt blessed (for a number of reasons I'll keep to myself). So, to the Boyfriend, thank you. xoxox
The moments are there if we will only take the time to view life a little differently than we did the day before.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One as though nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
Monday, January 4, 2010
God Works With What He's Got...
Today I came across this in an email. So many times we look at our lives and what we are or are not and figure God can't use us - much less love us. Why we look at ourselves through human eyes is beyond me - especially in light of the fact that God only looks at us through eyes of love. Next time you're down on yourself and how you don't think you "measure up" to what God expects - think on this....
The next time you think God can't you use you, just remember.....
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a studdering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijiah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ucler
And Lazarus was dead!
Kind of gives you hope, huh?
The next time you think God can't you use you, just remember.....
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a studdering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijiah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ucler
And Lazarus was dead!
Kind of gives you hope, huh?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Let It Go
When is it time to let go and when is it time to keep pressing on? You truly never know what life has in store for you - or better yet, what God has in store for you. When you lose something or someone dear to you - do you let it go or do you press on until you get it back? I don't have the answer to that. I wish I did because I have lost someone so dear to me and its tearing me up inside. I'm sure those closest to me can see it but I've tried to keep my head held high. But at night, when its just me and the stillness - I'm broken. I'm troubled with doubt and confusion and hurt and anger....and just wish I'd wake up from the bad dream and everything be okay again. But its not a bad dream...its my life - and its real.
When I first lost my dear friend this was sent to me....yet I'm having a hard time embracing it and letting go. How do you just "let go" of someone and something so dear? How do you say "okay God, I give it to you" when it seemed so right? This isn't the first time something like this has happened and though you would think it would get easier - it is not. It is sad and depressing and is breaking me to the core. But here it is...maybe this time something will click and I can accept what has been lost.
Letting Go
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this - When people can walk away from you: let them walk!
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. You destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be manifest that they were not for us. For had they been for us, no doubt they would have continued with us. 1 John 2:19
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you cannot make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when a persons part of the story is over so you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when its dead.
You've got to know when its over. Let me tell you something...I've got the gift of good-bye. Its the 10th spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. Its not that I'm hateful, its that I'm faithful and I know that whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...
Let it Go!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
Let it Go!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back and see your worth...
Let it Go!
If someone has angered you...
Let It Go!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of anger or revenge...
Let It Go!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...
Let It Go!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs and talents...
Let It Go!
If you have a bad attitude...
Let It Go!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
Let It Go!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...
Let It Go!
If you're struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...
Let It Go!
If you're trying to help someone that won't even try to help themselves...
Let It Go!
When I first lost my dear friend this was sent to me....yet I'm having a hard time embracing it and letting go. How do you just "let go" of someone and something so dear? How do you say "okay God, I give it to you" when it seemed so right? This isn't the first time something like this has happened and though you would think it would get easier - it is not. It is sad and depressing and is breaking me to the core. But here it is...maybe this time something will click and I can accept what has been lost.
Letting Go
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this - When people can walk away from you: let them walk!
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. You destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be manifest that they were not for us. For had they been for us, no doubt they would have continued with us. 1 John 2:19
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you cannot make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when a persons part of the story is over so you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when its dead.
You've got to know when its over. Let me tell you something...I've got the gift of good-bye. Its the 10th spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. Its not that I'm hateful, its that I'm faithful and I know that whatever God means for me to have, He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...
Let it Go!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
Let it Go!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back and see your worth...
Let it Go!
If someone has angered you...
Let It Go!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of anger or revenge...
Let It Go!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...
Let It Go!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs and talents...
Let It Go!
If you have a bad attitude...
Let It Go!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
Let It Go!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...
Let It Go!
If you're struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...
Let It Go!
If you're trying to help someone that won't even try to help themselves...
Let It Go!
If you're feeling stressed and depressed...
Let It Go!
If there is a situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take yours hands off of it", then you need to...
Let it Go!
The Battle Is The Lords!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Ask And You Shall Receive....
When we pray do we actually expect an answer from God? Do we actually mean what we're asking? How do we react when He does answer and its not in the way we quite expected. I'll be the first to admit that I may get my feelings hurts. I may pout and be a little pissy for a while. But when I actually sit and look at what He's doing - its worth it. Shouldn't we know He always has our best interest at hand?
Recently I've prayed about something and I haven't actually gotten an answer. But I keep telling myself - Regardless of the outcome He is in control. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Maybe God is waiting to see what I'll do in the waiting period. Will I get impatient and try to work it out in my strength or will I trust in His plans? Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
Recently I've prayed about something and I haven't actually gotten an answer. But I keep telling myself - Regardless of the outcome He is in control. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Maybe God is waiting to see what I'll do in the waiting period. Will I get impatient and try to work it out in my strength or will I trust in His plans? Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
I'd just like to say a quick Happy Mother's Day to my Mother and all the other moms out there. Through the years my mom has been loving, even when I may not have been most agreeable. Thank you, Mom. I'll always love you!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Our House, Is a Very Very Very Fine House
The house has been painted and it looks great. Just thought I'd share!
Kentucky Derby Party 2009
So this past Saturday my Sunday School class had a Kentucky Derby Party...so much fun. I was the only person that actually "dressed" the part, but I didn't care. If I was going to wear a big fancy hat I was going to dress up too. Anyway, here are a few picture of our day.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tea Anyone?
So yesterday was the great Anti-Tax Tea Party...well several around the country were held. Since yesterday was a complete blur I didn't get to see how it was received. This morning I read this article: Anti-tax "tea parties" being held across the U.S. and one part stood out to me.
Before I go any farther I really want to ask a question....Does anyone LISTEN to what Obama says? I'm really being serious here because what he SAYS and what he DOES rarely coincides yet so many are fooled into believing this man is for "the people". And yet everyday I get viewed as a raciest or bitter because I don't agree with this man. Does anyone actually SEE what horrible things he has done since he has been in office? Everyone, including Obama, wants to put the blame on Bush (BTW, Bush warned of a falling economy in 2002- but no one remembers that, hummm) for all the bad that is going on instead of taking responsibility and owning it.
Okay so this is the part that stood out to me the most:
Obama acknowledged the protests. "For too long, we've seen taxes used as a wedge to scare people into supporting policies that increased the burden on working people instead of helping them live their dreams," he said. "That has to change, and that's the work that we've begun."
Did I just read that? "that's the work that we've begun." WHAT? Why does he think these people are HAVING these tea parties? Not because of the great changes that have taken place but because of the HORRIBLE CHANGES!!!!!!!!! But so many people are sitting back and thinking he totally agrees. WAKE UP PEOPLE! QUIT BEING SHEEP! LISTEN FOR YOURSELF! The proof is in the results....and I hate to break it it you - MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE PAYING FOR OBAMA'S 'CHANGE'.
I'm disgusted.
Before I go any farther I really want to ask a question....Does anyone LISTEN to what Obama says? I'm really being serious here because what he SAYS and what he DOES rarely coincides yet so many are fooled into believing this man is for "the people". And yet everyday I get viewed as a raciest or bitter because I don't agree with this man. Does anyone actually SEE what horrible things he has done since he has been in office? Everyone, including Obama, wants to put the blame on Bush (BTW, Bush warned of a falling economy in 2002- but no one remembers that, hummm) for all the bad that is going on instead of taking responsibility and owning it.
Okay so this is the part that stood out to me the most:
Obama acknowledged the protests. "For too long, we've seen taxes used as a wedge to scare people into supporting policies that increased the burden on working people instead of helping them live their dreams," he said. "That has to change, and that's the work that we've begun."
Did I just read that? "that's the work that we've begun." WHAT? Why does he think these people are HAVING these tea parties? Not because of the great changes that have taken place but because of the HORRIBLE CHANGES!!!!!!!!! But so many people are sitting back and thinking he totally agrees. WAKE UP PEOPLE! QUIT BEING SHEEP! LISTEN FOR YOURSELF! The proof is in the results....and I hate to break it it you - MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE PAYING FOR OBAMA'S 'CHANGE'.
I'm disgusted.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I'm So Excited And I Just Can't Hide It...
I have officially been acceptted into the dental hygiene program!!!! YAY me! I'm so glad I'm not going to have to take other measures to get in. The honest way is always the best! (hahaha)
I will be starting in the fall. I know the next few months will probably fly by since I have so many things I need to get taken care of. Thats the way things go isn't it?
Anyway to all who have prayed for me - thank you. Please continue to pray that I get the loan money I need to live on while in school.
I will be starting in the fall. I know the next few months will probably fly by since I have so many things I need to get taken care of. Thats the way things go isn't it?
Anyway to all who have prayed for me - thank you. Please continue to pray that I get the loan money I need to live on while in school.
Friday, March 20, 2009
2012....Will You Ever Get Here?
After the "President's" remark about his bowling abilities looking like the "Special Olympics or something" - that is my exact thought. In all fairness I have to admit....I've said things like that a time or two. I've even called people retarded. BUT I'm never going to run for President (as many give a sign of relief).
When will we get someone in office that has some class? When will we get someone in office that truly has a heart for all the American People? When will we get a President in office that cares more about the welfare of our country than picking his bracket for the NCAA?
Am I the only person that feels this way? Of course there are those of you that feel sorry for poor Obama and think .... ' he's a regular guy too you know'.... I hate to point this out but it looks as if I must. If he wanted to be a regular guy he shouldn't have ran for President. If he wanted to be a regular guy he should have continued to be a community organizer. But the fact of the matter is he DID run for President of the United States and is now one of the most powerful people in the world....HE IS NOT A REGULAR GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so tired of hearing people make excuses for him. If thats all he's good for is giving people reason to make up excuses then why in GOD'S NAME DID YOU VOTE FOR HIM?!?!?!?!?! (ummm, yes, I said YOU because I my friend did NOT vote for him - I still have the sign in my yard to prove it!!!) Don't we all have better things to do with our time than make us excuses????
And my last little rant will be this....For those of you that continue to think I'm a bitter b*^%@# - I'm just wondering - what would you have said had President Bush made the same remark???? Do we have a Double Standard for a trillion dollars Alex????
When will we get someone in office that has some class? When will we get someone in office that truly has a heart for all the American People? When will we get a President in office that cares more about the welfare of our country than picking his bracket for the NCAA?
Am I the only person that feels this way? Of course there are those of you that feel sorry for poor Obama and think .... ' he's a regular guy too you know'.... I hate to point this out but it looks as if I must. If he wanted to be a regular guy he shouldn't have ran for President. If he wanted to be a regular guy he should have continued to be a community organizer. But the fact of the matter is he DID run for President of the United States and is now one of the most powerful people in the world....HE IS NOT A REGULAR GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so tired of hearing people make excuses for him. If thats all he's good for is giving people reason to make up excuses then why in GOD'S NAME DID YOU VOTE FOR HIM?!?!?!?!?! (ummm, yes, I said YOU because I my friend did NOT vote for him - I still have the sign in my yard to prove it!!!) Don't we all have better things to do with our time than make us excuses????
And my last little rant will be this....For those of you that continue to think I'm a bitter b*^%@# - I'm just wondering - what would you have said had President Bush made the same remark???? Do we have a Double Standard for a trillion dollars Alex????
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Is It Me....
Or is everyone getting married???
After many, many weeks I figured it was time to make a post. Life has been busy. School has taken over my life and I am officially wore out. I will definitely be glad when this semester is over. I finished Anatomy and Physiology I with an "A" and have started A&P II. I sent off my Dental Hygiene application and have already been called back for an interview (pray I do well). And with a little kick in the rear, hopefully my Nutrition Instructor will get his act together!
But in the middle of all my hustle and bustle I have found one common thread among me....everyone is getting married. I can't tell you the number of people in my singles Sunday school class that are "tying the knot". Even Jane Green recently got married (Congrats Jane!!!).
Despite every effort, I'm starting to feel a bit of pressure as I inch (faster and faster though I try to drag my feet) toward the big 3-0. The fact of the matter is there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I can do to change the fact that I'm single. And the one question that keeps going through my mind is...."Are you even ready to get married?" I have no idea what that answer might even be. Yes, I'd love to find the perfect man for me....but even if he were to show up tomorrow would I be ready? Would I be ready in a month? Or six months? Or even a year? Is anyone ever really ready at all for marriage?
Even though I'm about to be 30 I sometimes feel as if I'm still a little girl. I feel as if I have a million things I have to and want to accomplish before anyone steps into my little picture. I feel as if there is so mach that God has to work in me before anyone steps on the scene.
So am I ready? Nah. Despite all the pressure I put on myself I feel this time is for me. Lord, knows once I do finally get married I'll never be able to say that again. So in the words of Gregory - 2009 is Mine!
After many, many weeks I figured it was time to make a post. Life has been busy. School has taken over my life and I am officially wore out. I will definitely be glad when this semester is over. I finished Anatomy and Physiology I with an "A" and have started A&P II. I sent off my Dental Hygiene application and have already been called back for an interview (pray I do well). And with a little kick in the rear, hopefully my Nutrition Instructor will get his act together!
But in the middle of all my hustle and bustle I have found one common thread among me....everyone is getting married. I can't tell you the number of people in my singles Sunday school class that are "tying the knot". Even Jane Green recently got married (Congrats Jane!!!).
Despite every effort, I'm starting to feel a bit of pressure as I inch (faster and faster though I try to drag my feet) toward the big 3-0. The fact of the matter is there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I can do to change the fact that I'm single. And the one question that keeps going through my mind is...."Are you even ready to get married?" I have no idea what that answer might even be. Yes, I'd love to find the perfect man for me....but even if he were to show up tomorrow would I be ready? Would I be ready in a month? Or six months? Or even a year? Is anyone ever really ready at all for marriage?
Even though I'm about to be 30 I sometimes feel as if I'm still a little girl. I feel as if I have a million things I have to and want to accomplish before anyone steps into my little picture. I feel as if there is so mach that God has to work in me before anyone steps on the scene.
So am I ready? Nah. Despite all the pressure I put on myself I feel this time is for me. Lord, knows once I do finally get married I'll never be able to say that again. So in the words of Gregory - 2009 is Mine!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Why Do We Wait Until It's Too Late?
This week a friend of mine lost her father. He has been sick for quite some time, but she could never be prepared for the impact of his death. Last night she read me a letter she wrote to him after he passed away. In it she said things that she never said to him in person. Things she felt were too cheesy to voice. Things she felt he wouldn't understand. Emotions from the heart that really can't be put into words.
Hearing her words got me thinking. Why do we wait until it's too late? Why do we not say the things that really need to be said? Why do we not express the love that overflows our hearts? Why do we not express the emotions we hold inside regardless of how difficult it may be?
Is it because of pride? Is it because of not being able to find the words? Or possibly it is because of past hurts, that we can't get past long enough to express the joy, the love, the admiration, the honor we feel for our loved one's.
Whatever it is, I wish it weren't so. I wish we all didn't wait until it was too late to say the things that we hold under lock and key deep in our hearts. I'll be the first to admit my guilt for not speaking the treasures I keep hidden in my heart. But today, listening to my friend read the words she could never express to her dad, it makes me want to try to move past my fears to ensure I don't regret saying the things that need to be said before it's too late.
Hearing her words got me thinking. Why do we wait until it's too late? Why do we not say the things that really need to be said? Why do we not express the love that overflows our hearts? Why do we not express the emotions we hold inside regardless of how difficult it may be?
Is it because of pride? Is it because of not being able to find the words? Or possibly it is because of past hurts, that we can't get past long enough to express the joy, the love, the admiration, the honor we feel for our loved one's.
Whatever it is, I wish it weren't so. I wish we all didn't wait until it was too late to say the things that we hold under lock and key deep in our hearts. I'll be the first to admit my guilt for not speaking the treasures I keep hidden in my heart. But today, listening to my friend read the words she could never express to her dad, it makes me want to try to move past my fears to ensure I don't regret saying the things that need to be said before it's too late.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Now Working For the Food Network....
Last night The Southern Gentleman (who Julie and I are thinking of naming Big Papa) took Julie and I to Ruth Chris. It was our first time there. Being big fans of BR Prime we weren't too sure what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised. Big Papa seems to know everyone in every social circle. He introduced us to people that probably didn't care to know either one of us, but it made for an interesting night. He then started telling everyone we were both from the Food Network and that created a big laugh. Of course there were a few eyebrows raised, but most knew he was pulling their leg.
Both Julie and I got the special that included a small fillet and stuffed lobster with sides of potatoes and mushrooms. Can you say DELICIOUS? Then Big Papa forced us to try the banana pudding. It was baked in a pastry shell and the top was caramelized. Very delish.
Anyway, just wanted to give a big thank you to Big Papa. Your kindness and hospitality know no end. We love you!
Both Julie and I got the special that included a small fillet and stuffed lobster with sides of potatoes and mushrooms. Can you say DELICIOUS? Then Big Papa forced us to try the banana pudding. It was baked in a pastry shell and the top was caramelized. Very delish.
Anyway, just wanted to give a big thank you to Big Papa. Your kindness and hospitality know no end. We love you!
Diary of a Mad Massage Therapist Vol.4
14. Refrain from propositioning your massage therapist! We're not flattered. It's not cute. It's not funny. It actually makes you look like a complete idiot and we're going to tell EVERYONE we know what an ass you are.
What would you do if someone actually said:
"Come on Texas Girl, don't be shy - Make a man out of me - I'm a big tipper"?
(for those of you who do not know...I grew up in Texas)
Well those were the exact words that came out of the mouth of a current client (aka moron!) of mine.
Do men actually believe that all women want to handle their private parts? Do they think that if given the opportunity we would just be honored to 'service' (for a lack of better words) them? If I didn't think I would have lost my job I probably would have punched him in the nether region. I wanted to let him know that he wasn't in the Best Little Whore House in Texas but in a legitimate spa and salon. I wanted to ask him to hold that thought while I went and talked to his wife. Quite honestly, I wanted to chop his dick off. Nonetheless (believe it or not), I kept my cool, ignored his 'offer' and got his ass out of my room as quickly as possible.
So for those of you that think its okay to proposition a massage therapist please refrain. I promise there will be therapists that will not be as nice. (And learn a little of bit of respect while you're at it!)
What would you do if someone actually said:
"Come on Texas Girl, don't be shy - Make a man out of me - I'm a big tipper"?
(for those of you who do not know...I grew up in Texas)
Well those were the exact words that came out of the mouth of a current client (aka moron!) of mine.
Do men actually believe that all women want to handle their private parts? Do they think that if given the opportunity we would just be honored to 'service' (for a lack of better words) them? If I didn't think I would have lost my job I probably would have punched him in the nether region. I wanted to let him know that he wasn't in the Best Little Whore House in Texas but in a legitimate spa and salon. I wanted to ask him to hold that thought while I went and talked to his wife. Quite honestly, I wanted to chop his dick off. Nonetheless (believe it or not), I kept my cool, ignored his 'offer' and got his ass out of my room as quickly as possible.
So for those of you that think its okay to proposition a massage therapist please refrain. I promise there will be therapists that will not be as nice. (And learn a little of bit of respect while you're at it!)
Friday, January 30, 2009
Callaway Gardens - Pine Mountain, Georgia
If anyone is looking for a little getaway, Callaway Gardens is definitely the place to go. They have a lodge, hotel, cottages, condos, and villas (and in the hotel aka Mountain Inn you can take your pets - SugarBaby and SweetPea were thrilled). However you want to spend your stay you'll find something great. The highlight of my stay was the Butterfly Observatory. I actually saw butterflies emerging from their cocoons. It was just incredible to walk around in a large open space and see them flying around you. Unfortunately we went on a cloudy day so they weren't as active as usual, but there were a few rebels out and about. They have plenty of hiking/nature trails. Nature is definitely all around. Of course the gardens weren't in bloom, but everything was still beautiful. Anyway, it was nice and peaceful. Plenty to do and just peaceful enough if you don't want to do anything at all (by the way, they have a spa!)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Am I Really ADHD Or Do I Have Too Much Energy?
1:28 a.m.
I know its been quite some time since I've made a post. However, this New Year has started out to be quite uneventful. I'm taking a couple of classes this semester (which I'm maintaining my "A's" of course) and I went to Callaway Gardens last week (which I will post pictures of soon - I hope). But all in all, everything has been quite calm despite our President thinking giving his first interview as President to an Arab network is better than to the nation that actually ELECTED him (don't take my word for it - read it for yourself - article).
Yet tonight, I cannot sleep. This week has been the first in (I would dare to say) months that I've had insomnia. In November I started working out on a regular basis. This week, I have not. Not because I'm lazy, but because I'm quite sick (the doctor is worried about me - kidding - just a little inside joke). I have some sort of sinusitis and it has me completely thrown off. I don't like being sick. I know its not as if anyone does, but I rarely get sick. And when I do it doesn't make for a good patient. I'm usually cranky and love pity parties. But today I sucked it up, went to the doctor and got a shot that is supposed to make me feel better (hopefully soon).
But all of this has gotten me thinking: Do I really have ADHD or do I just have a lot of pent up energy? The fact of the matter is that even when working out I can't seem to sit still for long. But this week of sickness has me all wired even though I should be resting. I can't seem to sit still for 5 minutes, much less the 15 I'm generally so proud of. I lay in bed and my mind is racing. This isn't abnormal, but this week I can't fall asleep despite it. This week I just lay there. My eye open wide. I'm not even tired. I haven't actually "rested" the entire time I've been sick (maybe the reason I can't get better). But I can't seem to stop. My mind...my body will not rest. Sitting here I feel my eye lids getting heavy, but the moment I crawl back into bed will their light switch automatically be thrown back on, or will my weary bones get some rest? Should I sit here in my chair and try to fall asleep sitting up or do I risk walking back to bed (just to wake myself up, no doubt)?
This has me a bit dumbfounded. I knew the exercise was helping, but until now I didn't know to what extent. I do know the moment I feel better I will be back at the gym...and back to getting some rest!
Night!
I know its been quite some time since I've made a post. However, this New Year has started out to be quite uneventful. I'm taking a couple of classes this semester (which I'm maintaining my "A's" of course) and I went to Callaway Gardens last week (which I will post pictures of soon - I hope). But all in all, everything has been quite calm despite our President thinking giving his first interview as President to an Arab network is better than to the nation that actually ELECTED him (don't take my word for it - read it for yourself - article).
Yet tonight, I cannot sleep. This week has been the first in (I would dare to say) months that I've had insomnia. In November I started working out on a regular basis. This week, I have not. Not because I'm lazy, but because I'm quite sick (the doctor is worried about me - kidding - just a little inside joke). I have some sort of sinusitis and it has me completely thrown off. I don't like being sick. I know its not as if anyone does, but I rarely get sick. And when I do it doesn't make for a good patient. I'm usually cranky and love pity parties. But today I sucked it up, went to the doctor and got a shot that is supposed to make me feel better (hopefully soon).
But all of this has gotten me thinking: Do I really have ADHD or do I just have a lot of pent up energy? The fact of the matter is that even when working out I can't seem to sit still for long. But this week of sickness has me all wired even though I should be resting. I can't seem to sit still for 5 minutes, much less the 15 I'm generally so proud of. I lay in bed and my mind is racing. This isn't abnormal, but this week I can't fall asleep despite it. This week I just lay there. My eye open wide. I'm not even tired. I haven't actually "rested" the entire time I've been sick (maybe the reason I can't get better). But I can't seem to stop. My mind...my body will not rest. Sitting here I feel my eye lids getting heavy, but the moment I crawl back into bed will their light switch automatically be thrown back on, or will my weary bones get some rest? Should I sit here in my chair and try to fall asleep sitting up or do I risk walking back to bed (just to wake myself up, no doubt)?
This has me a bit dumbfounded. I knew the exercise was helping, but until now I didn't know to what extent. I do know the moment I feel better I will be back at the gym...and back to getting some rest!
Night!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year...Welcome 2009
I don't know about you, but I gladly welcome 2009. This year has been a year of complete ups and downs. But, I have to fill all of you in on a miracle just in time for the New Year. For those of you who have been praying for Lirio, Thank you. She is healed. I found out today that she has been released from the hospital. Right now she is in a neurological rehab dealing with quite a bit of pain, but getting better each day. I am so amazed at the awesomeness (is that even a word?) of God. Here is a girl that was shot in the face and lost brain matter just a few weeks ago and now is able to talk, text, and move around. God is still in the business of doing miracles. What a way to break in the New Year!So what are you doing tonight? Me, I'll be in bed by 9:30 P.M. Exciting stuff here I tell ya. But here is to the New Year and new opportunities. Cheers!
P.S. By the way, here is my new haircut. Hope you like it!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
And Merry Christmas to all. Today was peaceful and full of joy, just as every Christmas should be. Here are a few pictures from my day. I hope everyone had a great day filled with as much peace and joy as I did.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
What Is On Your Heart Tonight?
It happens to all of us. We get so wrapped up in the gifts, parties, decorations, etc., etc., etc. that we get our focus off of what is really important. Sometimes its even the church traditions that can get in the way.
Tonight I went to Midnight Mass with the Sawyer Family. This is something I've always wanted to do. Since I can remember I've loved the idea of spending Christmas Eve(ning) participating in Catholic Mass. Not being Catholic I really have never known how Midnight Mass works. Apparently Midnight Mass isn't REALLY at midnight. A few years back I decided I was going to go and showed up at the church around midnight. Needless to say I was the only one in the parking lot. Can you say embarrassed? Confused? Disappointed?
But tonight it wasn't the words or the music or the communion that made the night special. It was the incredible reminder that Jesus became the Light in a dark world. There is nothing that we could ever do to bring light into the world, but God loved us so much that He gave us that Light. And with that Light, He bridged the gap that sin created so we could have open communion. We can approach our Father's throne boldly and at any time.
So tonight, my heart is forever grateful and thankful for the birth of Jesus, my Saviour.
What is on your heart tonight?
Tonight I went to Midnight Mass with the Sawyer Family. This is something I've always wanted to do. Since I can remember I've loved the idea of spending Christmas Eve(ning) participating in Catholic Mass. Not being Catholic I really have never known how Midnight Mass works. Apparently Midnight Mass isn't REALLY at midnight. A few years back I decided I was going to go and showed up at the church around midnight. Needless to say I was the only one in the parking lot. Can you say embarrassed? Confused? Disappointed?
But tonight it wasn't the words or the music or the communion that made the night special. It was the incredible reminder that Jesus became the Light in a dark world. There is nothing that we could ever do to bring light into the world, but God loved us so much that He gave us that Light. And with that Light, He bridged the gap that sin created so we could have open communion. We can approach our Father's throne boldly and at any time.
So tonight, my heart is forever grateful and thankful for the birth of Jesus, my Saviour.
What is on your heart tonight?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Christmas Time Is Here, Happiness and Cheer
Isn't it funny how you can meet some of the greatest people when you least expect it? This weekend I had a little Christmas "get together". I invited a few co-workers and friends. Unfortunately not too many showed, but fortunately the ones that counted did. In that group of friends, I invited a friend from my Chemistry class. I've never met her. We only chatted online (since Chemistry was an online course). This person that helped me get through the semester with an 'A' had to be at least decent. I figured inviting her and her husband could show a bit of gratitude for all her help. But she wasn't decent.....she was so much more. She and her husband were two very down to earth people that I instantly connected with. We laughed about anything and everything from ADHD drugs (Cash, let me know how they work!) to finger cots (hope they fit) to human skulls (you really had to be there) to the champagne of beers (as if I would know anything about that). Afterwards I told her my best friend and I rarely got out because we like to surround ourselves with people that are full of joy and love to laugh, but most people disappoint us because they just aren't as funny as us! She said they felt the same way.
God really does bless us when we least expect it, but probably when we need it the most. I'm not saying that I've felt down and out (quite the opposite for a change). And really I wouldn't say that I need it (although I'm ready for any blessing God sees fit for me!). But God knows things we don't.
Here are a few pictures from the party. I didn't take very many because I was too busy laughing!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Please Pray Immediately....
A family needs your prayers tonight.
My friend's brother is in the military and recently came back from Iraq. Last week his wife asked him to clean up a mess that their puppy made and spank him. He then beat the puppy to death and ripped him to pieces with his hands. Obviously something is wrong with this young man. Its sad enough that our troops have to see the things they have to see in Iraq, but even worse that they don't receive any help when they get back.
Last week his wife served him with divorce papers. This week he shot his wife (her name is Lidio) in the head. Lidio is holding on. She is in critical condition, but her body is still strong. When she comes to, she wakes up fighting. She has lost some brain matter, but we are believing God for a miracle. Lidio's mother is believing God for a miracle. We are standing on the promise of God that if you honor your father and your mother (which Lidio has) your days will be long.
God IS still in the business of doing miracles, we just have to give Him the chance. WE ARE BELIEVING! Please PRAY!
My friend's brother is in the military and recently came back from Iraq. Last week his wife asked him to clean up a mess that their puppy made and spank him. He then beat the puppy to death and ripped him to pieces with his hands. Obviously something is wrong with this young man. Its sad enough that our troops have to see the things they have to see in Iraq, but even worse that they don't receive any help when they get back.
Last week his wife served him with divorce papers. This week he shot his wife (her name is Lidio) in the head. Lidio is holding on. She is in critical condition, but her body is still strong. When she comes to, she wakes up fighting. She has lost some brain matter, but we are believing God for a miracle. Lidio's mother is believing God for a miracle. We are standing on the promise of God that if you honor your father and your mother (which Lidio has) your days will be long.
God IS still in the business of doing miracles, we just have to give Him the chance. WE ARE BELIEVING! Please PRAY!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Looking for a Fire to Add to Your Christmas?
Today, as I was reading Jane Green's Blog, I was reminded of the wonderful holiday event that happened when I was in the fifth grade.
My uncle has been known to build the largest, warmest fires there are. So much so one year (a few days before Christmas no doubt) we were having a family Christmas party. So my uncle goes down to the entertainment room where the fireplace is and starts a fire. A few hours later our house went up in smoke. Yes…it burned down. LOL It’s funny now, but trust me it was not then. We can’t blame the house burning down solely on him (there was a crack in the fireplace we were unaware of), but it makes the story more interesting that way! Poor Uncle James Ray. He'll forever be blamed for burning our house down.
My uncle has been known to build the largest, warmest fires there are. So much so one year (a few days before Christmas no doubt) we were having a family Christmas party. So my uncle goes down to the entertainment room where the fireplace is and starts a fire. A few hours later our house went up in smoke. Yes…it burned down. LOL It’s funny now, but trust me it was not then. We can’t blame the house burning down solely on him (there was a crack in the fireplace we were unaware of), but it makes the story more interesting that way! Poor Uncle James Ray. He'll forever be blamed for burning our house down.
It's Official....
I'm done with classes this semester. I didn't do as well as I would have hoped on all my Chemistry assignments, but I did walk away with an "A". (I know, what was I crying about then?) I can only credit that to the extra credit that was given to us, otherwise I would have made "B".
So now I can rest and enjoy the Christmas season by indulging in the Polar Express around the clock. It has to be the greatest Christmas movie. I know it's not a classic, but the book has been my favorite since elementary school. When I heard there was going to be a Polar Express movie I was more than thrilled, but also nervous that they would ruin the entire thing for me. But alas, Tom Hanks works his brilliant magic and makes everything wonderful.
Children around the world (including my nephew and niece) start watching this movie around the clock around the beginning of November. It takes mad skills to keep a child captivated for that long. And though I consider myself an old soul, the child inside cannot resist the telling of this Polar Express story.
So now I can rest and enjoy the Christmas season by indulging in the Polar Express around the clock. It has to be the greatest Christmas movie. I know it's not a classic, but the book has been my favorite since elementary school. When I heard there was going to be a Polar Express movie I was more than thrilled, but also nervous that they would ruin the entire thing for me. But alas, Tom Hanks works his brilliant magic and makes everything wonderful.
Children around the world (including my nephew and niece) start watching this movie around the clock around the beginning of November. It takes mad skills to keep a child captivated for that long. And though I consider myself an old soul, the child inside cannot resist the telling of this Polar Express story.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thanksgiving Week Comes to an End....
And I am ever so thankful. Even though so much joy comes from the holidays it throws everything off balance. My work schedule changes. The store hours change. People are away from home. I'm well aware that change is good....but I'm of the belief that stability is BETTER! There is just absolutely too much disruption in change (this could be why I'm not a huge fan of Obama...then again...I'm probably just not a fan period). I like knowing what is going on around me. I like knowing what to expect each day. The only change I really tend to like is the changing of the leaves...which I must boast a bit here and say....we have had the most beautiful colors in our leaves this year. But then I hate to see the leaves actually falling off. If they would just keep changing from red to orange to yellow and then back to green I would be content. But they don't. They die and fall off.
But this was a good week. We celebrated SweetPea's 3rd Birthday (My baby is growing up! *tear*)
And so as we come down from the turkey high I know we're all gearing up for the Christmas parties, presents, family, etc. It's so easy to forget the important things in the hustle and bustle. I wish it weren't, but we all find ourselves not spending the quality time together that we need too, or not praying and reading our bible like we should. So I'm trying to keep in mind, God has been so good to me. I've managed to stay sane while working in an insane environment, to get through this semester (let's pray I pass Chemistry), find a church where I'm challenged on a weekly basis, and keep a best friend despite all my shortcomings. I'd say those are the important things. Since God has been so good to me, why can I not be good to Him? That's what He wants above all else. That's the present He asks for. Just a little time. Just a little love. Just our entire hearts and lives. That isn't asking so much in light of what He has done for us.
But this was a good week. We celebrated SweetPea's 3rd Birthday (My baby is growing up! *tear*)
I finished decorating the mantel. 
And Julie and I spent Thanksgiving Dinner with the wonderful couple, Rebecca and Dwight. 
Thanksgiving really hasn't been the same since my parents moved back to Texas and really since Hurricane Katrina. But this Thanksgiving seemed like a turning point. Unfortunately Rebecca and Dwight will be moving to California soon...so we won't be able to crash their house again next year. But it was nice to be back in the Thanksgiving mood.
And Julie and I spent Thanksgiving Dinner with the wonderful couple, Rebecca and Dwight. Thanksgiving really hasn't been the same since my parents moved back to Texas and really since Hurricane Katrina. But this Thanksgiving seemed like a turning point. Unfortunately Rebecca and Dwight will be moving to California soon...so we won't be able to crash their house again next year. But it was nice to be back in the Thanksgiving mood. And so as we come down from the turkey high I know we're all gearing up for the Christmas parties, presents, family, etc. It's so easy to forget the important things in the hustle and bustle. I wish it weren't, but we all find ourselves not spending the quality time together that we need too, or not praying and reading our bible like we should. So I'm trying to keep in mind, God has been so good to me. I've managed to stay sane while working in an insane environment, to get through this semester (let's pray I pass Chemistry), find a church where I'm challenged on a weekly basis, and keep a best friend despite all my shortcomings. I'd say those are the important things. Since God has been so good to me, why can I not be good to Him? That's what He wants above all else. That's the present He asks for. Just a little time. Just a little love. Just our entire hearts and lives. That isn't asking so much in light of what He has done for us.
May each day this next month remind both you and me of God's Love. 
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